I know that you’re searching.
For answers, for meaning, for something that sticks.
I know because I’m searching too.
I know too that you carry regret, but not in a way that drowns you. In a way that reminds you of the lessons and propels you forward. Even when that means just making it through the day.
I know that you crave depth but fear getting trapped under. You want to go down to the very core of things, but you know what it’s like to be too in your head.
I know that you wrestle with ideas deeply, not just to understand them, but to feel if they hold weight.
Why are they like that? How do I make sure I don’t end up like them? How am I different? How am I the same? How do I give myself the love they never did?
I know that you’re harder on yourself than you are on anyone else. That you forgive more easily than you forget. That you measure your worth in ways you wouldn’t impose on anyone else.
And I know that, if I asked you, you would know all of these things.
But maybe you don’t always see how rare it is to think like you do. How many people avoid looking altogether. How most skim the surface of their own existence while you’re searching for answers to the questions that matter. The answers that will help you evolve.
Maybe you don’t always see that the way you think—restless, searching, unwilling to accept anything other than healing and growth—isn’t a flaw. It’s the thing that makes you who you are. It’s how we’re meant to be. How you’re meant to be. And it’s beautiful.
It’s important that you always remember that.
…
…
…So what should I do now?
That depends.
If you’re asking what to do right now, then maybe the answer is nothing.
Maybe you just sit with what comes up.
Maybe you let yourself feel exactly where you are without trying to fix it, label it, or rush past it.
Maybe you just rest in yourself for a moment—and open back up to whoever that is.
And if you’re asking what to do with your life, then maybe the answer is:
Create. Write something, even if no one else will see it.
Move. Get out of your head and into the world, even just for a little while.
Be present. Do something simple: listen to music, step outside, breathe, just remind yourself that You are Here.
Most of all, choose your purpose. It doesn’t have to be the right thing, or the forever thing, just something. Something that excites you. Something you can build towards. Love, work, art, family—wherever your light is, put everything you have into it and remind yourself constantly that, at least for this moment, that’s enough.
Or maybe you don’t need any of those things.
Maybe all you actually need is someone to ask you the question so you can listen for the answer:
What do you want to do now?
- Will
Subscriber Feature
What You Are Really Looking For
We become who we think we need to be in order to carry our parents’ pain and expectations, to confirm their view of the world. We have such a strong need to belong, to be a member of a group, that we will deny our own perceptions in order to do it.
- Lindsay C. Gibson, Who You Were Meant To Be