How To Change Your Conditioning - The Don Miguel Ruiz Way:
Change your normal reactions.
Express, don’t repress. Hold to your boundaries. Be kind to yourself.
Change your routine.
One step now toward a better thing then will close the gap between them.
What is the quickest, easiest thing I could do for my future self, today?
Take a risk in making different choices.
Yes, you will lose people when you uphold your boundaries. Yes, things could get worse before they get better when you begin to change. But in those risks is everything that makes it worth taking: stillness, authenticity, joy, and purpose.
Repeat again and again.
Until perfected or having exhausted the time alloted to you.
On Tuesday October 22nd the Academy Of Self Help will be hosting: Trauma Born Attraction - How Our Traumas Choose Our Partners featuring Nicole Johnson, LPC. Join the event live with a free 30-day Academy membership, or become a paid supporter to receive the recording by email.
Favorite Things
Some days the work of healing feels like a full time job.
Face your traumas, heal your inner child, be the perfect parent, forgive both of yours, end the cycle of abuse, change the course of your lineage - and don’t forget to exercise, spend quality time with other people, and get lots and lots of sleep.
That’s why we need breaks, we need joy, we need uplifting books as much as ones that unravel us, we need memes, we need beautiful words that make us imagine beautiful things, we need people that inspire us.
For all those moments of need that you may come across this week, here are some of our favorite things featured recently in our community.
Reads (affiliate-free Amazon links)
The Mastery Of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz - a beautiful read on how to harness and express our love both with the people in our lives and within ourselves.
Mind Magic by James R. Doty - a fantastic book on the science of manifestation, written by a neurosurgeon (and author of Into The Magic Shop) who went seeking evidence-based answers to the mystery of manifesting.
Maybe You Should Talk To Someone by Lori Gottlieb - a psychologist’s fascinating journey into the inner struggles of her patients, mirrored by her own self-exploration under the guidance of her therapist.
The Emotionally Absent Mother by Jasmin Lee Cori - our next Book Club pick, The Emotionally Absent Mother offers a truly unique perspective on the mother wound that might inspire you to excavate yours. If Dr. Lindsay Gibson’s Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature spoke to you, you are without a doubt going to love this one too. Join the chat for quotes and discussions:
Podcasts
Dr. Gabor Maté on This Past Weekend - Comedian Theo Von has a deeply reflective discussion with Dr. Gabor Maté on the nature of trauma. The topics are serious, but the energy and authenticity of the conversation will leave you feeling inspired to soldier on through the work of healing.
Dr. Lindsay C. Gibson on We Can Do Hard Things - Insightful as always, Dr. Gibson shares the difference between narcissists and emotionally immature people and how to handle loving your family while finding it unhealthy to be around them.
Quotes & Memes
Healthy Recipe
Following the smashing success of her gluten-free chocolate-chip banana bread recipe, which was highlighted by the On Substack team recently, Academy co-founder Michelle is back for more, this time with vegan, gluten-free, chocolate-chip pancakes. Don’t let their simplicity fool you, if you have food sensitivities, or are just trying to eat a healthier breakfast, these high-antioxidant treats (thank you buckwheat) will bring a whole new level of joy to your weekend mornings!
PS. Help convince Michelle to add more Whole Healing content to this newsletter:
That’s all for this week, have a beautiful rest of your day!
Everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the
only time everything will be okay.- Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul
October 22nd: Trauma Born Attraction - How Our Traumas Choose Our Partners - Join live with a 30-day membership to the Academy or become a subscriber to receive the recording.
Well-Suited Parent (Subscriber Feature)
When I close my eyes and imagine being unreasonably happy, what does Future Me feel that I don’t? Where is the lack, or wounding, that prevents me from feeling now how I’ll feel then?